How does a parent know when it’s time to back off from a certain therapy? That is the question I find myself asking right now. T is doing weekly private OT, weekly OT at school, ILS therapy at home and at his private OT, he will be starting PT in the coming weeks and tomorrow he is having a functional vision test to see if he would benefit from vision therapy. How much is too much?
T is in his second year of a developmental preschool, and he is also in a kindergarten prep class on Wednesdays, so he is in school from 8:15-11:45 five days a week. He comes home from school so tired that he has been refusing (to the point of complete meltdowns) his ILS therapy. We have tried letting him have a quiet time break after school, we have tried doing ILS in the mornings before school, we’ve even tried weekend only sessions. Now I’m trying to figure out if the benefits are actually worth the fight. It was certainly beneficial over the summer, but with school and other therapies, I’m not so sure.
T will be starting PT soon, so that is another thing added to his schedule. I am really thinking that taking a break from the ILS until summer might be a good idea. That way he is getting all of his structured therapies outside of the home, and the therapy he gets at home is on an “as needed” basis. I want home to be a relaxing place for him, where he can feel free to rest when tired, jump when he wants to jump and do therapy activities when his body needs them.
My sweet little boy has asked me on several occasions, “why do I need so much therapy, what is wrong with me? Why am I broken?” It breaks my heart to know that he thinks of himself as broken, and the fact that he has several different therapies makes him feel that way. I try to explain SPD to him, and explain that he’s not broken, his brain just works differently. This sometimes helps and sometimes he looks at me like I’m full of it. He just knows that most of his friends, well the ones outside of school anyway, don’t have to go to OT, or have to wear headphones and do “exercises” at home. He feels different from his friends, and that bothers him.
My struggle is giving up something that might be helping him. How do I make the decision to end a therapy? Does it mean that I’m not doing everything I can to help him, or is it exactly the opposite? I need to figure out what is best for my son, not what is best for me. I need to find out what the right balance between therapy and just letting him be is, and I need to try to do this without causing a backslide in his progress. I need to let myself do what is right for him without feeling guilty for not doing enough.
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